1076

  Sometimes it seems like the corruption guy shows me things to tell me that my second amendment argument is not good enough. I did not take the time I took to tell people hey check this there may be an answer here. Instead, what I am telling is here is the answer and I am standing here ready for any counter arguments or questions (Of course, in addition to morality, I also have that I accepted that the other half of the offer I made the corruption guy be contingent on my performance here).   

1075: Book Additions And Corrections - 2

  Beside the inexplainable passing on and shallow treatment for the word "respecting" in "Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion", would a native speaker really express the same purpose for this as that interpreted by the courts, using "of" rather than "to" or "for"?

And for the second amendment, had things been taken sufficiently free of wishful thinking, would "the security of a free State" have really not appeared being about only the external security? And would not constructions like "Weather permitting, we shall have picnic tomorrow" been enough to also see the conditionality in the amendment?

1074: Book Additions And Corrections - 1

The participle conditionality structure works regardless of where the uncapitalized present participle is placed in that section. The effect is on the intended meaning not the technicality.    

1073

I do not know what happened with the first link I made in the post below, but its replacement seems to work fine now. 

By the way, I made post 1071 in order to declare my intention so that if the corruption guy disables my access or capability to post things would look suspicious.  

I also was not prepared to how the blog I used looks different from my others. I am currently trying to see what makes that difference. Still, the hardest part in convincing myself that I did it but have forgotten that I did it is leaving it without the www.uemcs.com link at the top.

1072

+297: This is the book and my argument for the second amendment

 This is the book and the argument for the second amendment I have been making

https://arrangedfortheindividualpost.blogspot.com/2023/12/the-book.html

1071

I finished the book and intend to start posting it very shortly.

1070: Someone Else Can Do It

Reflecting a little bit on youtube's policy of not showing thumbs down and dislikes, yesterday I noticed that doing so is like wanting to share its traffic with any other website that wants to provide that service. On such site, one could enter the address of the video wanted to be given a dislike or see how many dislikes it gets, or the address and the youtube name of a commenter to give that comment a thumb down (Of course searching first to find if the address or commenter name already exist would be needed to prevent multiple representations). This can also be applied to similar speech restrictions applied by other websites, like for example Amazon's policy not to allow reviewing a product without rating it.   

1069

It is getting close to season for Stayman apple. Months ago this summer, ordering through the internet, I had half bushel of it delivered to me. But much of it were overripe, because apparently, the controlled atmosphere agricultural storage rooms that enables us to find many not as good varieties of apples with that much freshness beyond the time of their season are not invested for this one. This got me thinking about offering this capability to the consumer. In other words, why should I store my groceries in my fridge? Why cannot this be like a subscription where the produce gets stored at these storage rooms and I got it delivered to me or pick it up from a designated place according to a preset schedule?              

1068: Credit Cards Interest Charging

 Couple of days ago I experienced something I could not understand and never expected. Doesn't it always seem that the interest charge on credit cards debts is too much relative to the amount of debt and the interest rate? It turned out that you do not get charged interest on the amount of debt you have but instead on something called "Balance Subject to Interest Rate" and it is, according to the internet search I did: “the average daily balance” of the account, including current transactions". In my case for example the debt I left was about $550 but the amount on which I was charged interest was over $1000. Who would have thought of something like this? You may think about the interest rate and the effect of compound interest, but charging based on amount higher than the debt you incur, how is that possible? Anyway, I intend to scrutinize this more when I have the time for it, but for now I keep scratching my head puzzled by such a totally unforeseen inexplainable thing.   

1067

 I do not have much time for this now, but doesn't it look like Google enjoys itself trying to play God through taking away capabilities the common sense expect them to be there? I wanted to post a comment on its (corrupt) Youtube stating my opinion about one thing being better than another and call for showing agreement and disagreement through the thumbs up and thumbs down feature. But apparently I cannot see thumbs down even on my own comments. Actually why there is an issue with the thumbs down in general? They do not mind calling expressing the position toward a video with the "Like" and "Dislike", but this they change? If for example a video was posted showing a person doing damage to something belonging to another, what does the "Like" button signifies? Is it likeness for doing that damage or likeness for having the proof? 

Apparently android being with no forward button failed to satisfy enough the desire to counter the common sense. And while I killed myself here trying to have them enable date authenticating indicating no change for posts, they instead went on and added the capability to change your youtube comment with them indicating that it was "Edited". They did that even though now you can delete your own comment (which I think in the past was allowed for only the person posting the video on which you commented). If you can delete and then post a new comment, what is the point of allowing changing the comment? 

At least when Microsoft every few years rearrange the same applications to produce a new version of Windows (Windows 12 could have the "Start" button at the top of the screen) and make you scratch your head looking for them, it does that for the money. 

And by the way let not forget to do the most dishonorable mention here which belongs to all those whom the audacity of their corruption made them sensor talk about that fake covid thing.  

1066

 +296

 What I have been making (and continue to be) is more like a book which I intend to title "Language Reasoning Roots and The Writ For The Constitution, With The Interpretation For The Second Amendment".

1065

306:

Wow, look at how the debt ceiling bill was barely passed. Who can accuse such people of spending trillions with that covid19 for no real reason other than to support corruption?  (LOL)

1064

 I prefer to take the risk of being less of a sugar coater than the risk of adding to the number of people who while being in the midst of a big bad pretend act like every thing is okay, so let me say it frankly: The story of that apple variety screams very unpleasant and hard to believe deep and horrible discrimination.   

1063: MS&R - 49

 Related to the preceding post of this series let me put it this way: Anyone thinks in xemself that xe can naturally sense deep enough in people to the kind of deception that was applied on me is almost certainly not getting what I am talking about. Actually, ironically, the more one is good in that with most other people, the more the resulted confidence would put xem in even weaker position with such exceptions. It may appear that if there is no external consequence then having one build and live in xir own world of counter reality should be something anyone can do. But that is not the case when doing that involves leaving no traces for reality to the level I am trying to convey here. Even just internal reality is like gravity to the normal person. No matter from how high one could be in the air, gravity would bring xem down. But when there is psychosis at the root, which is what I explain with such exceptions, then there would be a flying ability involved not just jumping. And while the requirement to repeat or continuously apply (especially like that which my story implies) such misrepresentations may weaken the normal person, doers with psychosis at their roots get strengthened more by that. That is because, like riding a time machine, already occurred truth and facts to them are like anything out there in that they can be replaced with the application of sufficient power toward the change. Therefore by as much as they do that misrepresentation as much as they would be in better position through the increased canceling of that reality.  

1062: Here Versus There

The speaking about corruption, which I often do here, can be  very misleading in places like where I came from if taken according to the environment there not here. One of the biggest tests for morality is to have and maintain a democratic system. But that itself also may not be without price. I am not referring here to just that corruption has much more opportunity to exist in such systems than in dictatorships where everything is forced to go the way the government want, but also to a very special psychological factor. Group ego may gradually get very much developed to replace individual ego as a compromised solution between desires of the self and the morality required to maintain a democratic system. This is like a totally different world to persons who are accustomed to undemocratic environments. Freud has a book or collection of articles titled "Groups and The Psychology of The Ego" and I cannot believe now how then I used to look at that title and wonder what could be the connection. So in places like where I came from the separation in actions and persons between the good and the bad is much more distinct and there are much less ego unity games like here. Carrying the group ego on the individual ego like this and the new paths of satisfaction resulting from the expanded horizon and also the more distant and therefore weaker path for that satisfaction are all factors explaining the incomparable level of group talk sensitivity between here and there. But probably the worst consequence of this group ego situation is the joke justice systems here because of how they are built top down rather than bottom up and trample the individual for the sake of the group, rather than make xem the root. Killers get sentenced to just 20 and 25 or even less. Doers of this may take that as being good to others while not realizing that they are much more probably serving themselves through the shared ego group. Yesterday I watched a video about someone criticizing  what seemed to be celebration for the execution of Ted Bundy and says things like taking human life is big thing. What about the numerous lives he took? Only here one can here nonsensical talk like this, and the only explanation to it is that group ego thing. Then watched news telling that appeal to the Supreme Court to stay the execution of even such a serial killer was rejected by a margin of only one vote.     

         

1061

 305: The Danger of Living With No Masks

 Since masks became not required in stores every time I go shopping I have to step over bodies of dead people? See what was done here?! (LOL).  

Although after very long procrastination, I also want to point out by the way that the people whom I before switching position criticized for things like making covid19 parties could have recognized the reality about what was going on before me.

1060

 Just in case something I am doing appears suggesting otherwise, I am emphasizing again that nothing has changed in my position HERE.

1059 What is going on with the name of that apple variety?

 Why is it that often called "Stayman-Winesap"? Why should "Winesap" be part of the name? How many other apple cultivars have what they came from attached to their name? Knowing that because of its being more the result of intentional development than chance discovery should not take away how much it deserves to be considered a type on its own at the same standard applied to others. And how about the name confusion this can lead to? How many there may call this just "Winesap"? Yesterday I found about what seems to be a cultivar of apple that is the result of crossing the two types above. Imagine the name confusion there? (Crossing such cultivar while we do not even see it in the stores? Never mind, it is a place where fruit is evaluated based on its crunchiness). 

The negative reaction this man got because of the achievement he made is real head scratcher.       

1058: MS&R - 48

 Although it may look considered, I think that my claim for the kind of character deception I lived surrounded with may not be even received by the majority of people, because of how much it is out of the normal perception domain as possible. We depend very intensely on the internal view of a person to itself with regard to the morality of its own actions, and doing that here makes the mind keep kicking away like a knee reflex the thoughts countering the presented character, and refuses that someone can lie to xemself with such depth.   

1057: Grocery Stores Fake Apples

Related to post 1054, I went there because it is the only store that sells serious ravioli (Pasta Prima). I wish I can say the same for apples, in the land of apples, for the real apples, the Stayman brand, and get saved from all the fake apples in the grocery stores. 

I of course knew about that brand because a grocery store brought it. But then apparently this corruption guy made them no longer carry it. Then I travelled to various stores of the same market chain around the town looking for it (Although that was also because I wanted this guy to task himself for his corruption with more than just to cut it out of just the store near me. The thought that he could have contacted those stores to remove this item during that travelling of mine was the first thing that made me seriously consider that he could have a tracking device in my car). I do not think it has been available anywhere here since years ago. 

Again, I see the other apple brands in the grocery markets as tasteless or very far behind in comparison with this one, and I cannot bring myself to believe that others here honestly differ in their tastes like that from this. Every time I go to a grocery store and look at the apples section I wonder about what kind of denial could be here that something I honestly see that much better is not even included with the rest, let alone replacing the rest? 

Just had one Granny Smith apple with torturing tartness that brought on this ranting. 

Even through just describing the taste, how many other apple brands were described as having spiciness in their tastes? 

1056: MS&R - 47

It was not as if they cut me from the world like a prisoner who just cannot reach the outside seen from behind the bars, but more like a person who does not even know that there is a world beyond the all-walls surrounding environment in order to have hope for reaching it.  

1055: MS&R - 46

 I wonder how many do sufficiently consider how much the existence cancelation that was done to me can present  something like what was said about me as a question of knowing or not knowing the wrong or appreciating how much it is wrong rather than a question of interest, and I could have made this point even had this thing been not even close to loose behaviour and not engaging other persons as it was. Yes, I would have not been able to make this point had what they said been about bad things done to others, because in that case all the knowledge I need is the fact that I should not do to others what I do not accept being done to me. 

1054

 Hey, corruption crap, was requiring me to enter my own credit card data when I went to get a Costco card something required from every customer or just something you wanted imposed on me and they did that for you? You are not even tasking yourself to think at the moment for these things. You watched the search I did on my computer the earlier day for something I want to buy from there. And of course that is in addition to the preparation the tracking device I think you have in my car gives you.  

1053: Another Reminder About Other Defrauded People

Although I have included with dealing for the first case I filed to the Supreme Court, dealing with the case related to the story of the stock which one day I bought more than two millions of its shares from this corruption guy and then the price made huge jumps and then went down during THIS and THIS and THIS  and THIS suspicious sec filings (read the "Explanation of Responses"), this corruption guy still need to compensate whatever defrauding occurred to others of whom probably many, unlike me, lost money they put from outside into the stock. 

1052: MS&R - 45

An insufficiently accurate translation for that Arabic saying could have confused the point in the preceding post. It would have been better as "The knowledge at the littleness (of age) is like the engraving in the stone". 

1051: MS&R - 44

 In addition to Arabic and Turkish, Person2 also knows Persian to the level that you can hear her sound very normally engaged in conversation with a native speaker. I had never heard about any effort put to teach her that. She appears to have just picked it from person1 who himself picked it because his father worked in a religious site visited by people from other countries including Iran. That was before my birth. Afterwards, on the other hand, hours and hours were spent for years and years in teaching person2 this language for barely any result. She looked like internally shutting herself down not to allow entry for the knowledge she was receiving. She kept explaining that situation saying "Knowledge during the early age is like engraving in the stone" (An Arabic adage). It had many times entered my mind that her saying of that  is connected to me but I disregarded it as far fetched. But one day she said it and looked at me while smiling and even though there was no teaching lesson going on. This is special in indicating how much all the existence discounting pressure I had was part of a plan they were deeply aware of.  

There is also a similar incident I experienced while sitting among them and hearing one of them expressing how he was during an earlier paranoia period. He said "I became suspicious of the closest close to me" and I noticed person3 glanced at me from the corner of his eye. I take what was said as having came from the speaker's assumption for himself of my position there and take the look I got as being to check if I detected any thing about my situation from hearing that. 

But of course all that at the time felt like a barely moving the hair wind blocked by the thick concrete wall of the depth of characters not fitting the reality about themselves they can show.              

1050: Gender Neutral Pronoun For English

Related to POST 1042, while "person" and "human" are masculine, "self" , "soul/spirit", and "character" are feminine, and there are just "he" and "she" pronouns for the singular there (no "it"). While this selection of words also support the incorporation point of that post as the words used there, theses forms are more applicable for referring to the whole target and in that case everybody will be called according to the gender assigned to the form.

I just thought of inserting here another interesting example of the earlier kind of words in my native language. "beauty" is masculine while "strength" is feminine.  

So how much does English need a gender neutral pronoun? I am asking this despite that I can see the "he" pronoun shared between the two genders at the base level of being human, and even thought about using "he-female/woman" when I do not need the gender specificity with regard to the issue of the referring. Some people try to balance things out by using the "she" pronoun in some gender neutral referring, but how much that would also counter the view just mentioned? Why have all this headache? How many other things have the same cost benefit as that of the addition of several words or less here for more active recognition to the existence of an entire gender?

But if despite that no gender for none living things exists here, making both categories share the same pronoun(s) is also seen okay here,  then could it be that "it" is all what is need for neutral gender referring? I used to think about this like an upgrade to this pronoun but now I wonder if it was originally intended to be the most comprehensive pronoun and inclusive of the human pronouns rather than just covering the rest. 

Then again even for the latter or similar alternatives one may ask why all this headache when there is a solution as easy and available as the former? And if there going to be such an effort for change why not apply it toward the most expressive solution?

Just checked and found numerous suggestions for a gender neutral pronoun on the internet.  I altered one of the versions and arrived at this which I intend to use it as my default choice: xe (he/she)  xem (him/her) xir (his/her) xirs (his/hers) xemself (himself/herself). The only change I did is for the last one to be driven from the object pronoun, which itself is also something I copied from another version for the "xe" suggested pronoun . Of course I probably would use whatever the world would ultimately favor as the pronoun here. 

1049: MS&R - 43

 While I was baffled by her coming , she on the other hand took the occurring of that thing she said about me without being puzzled and with immediate recognition and detection like someone watching the falling of something he had pushed toward such end. But, like how I do not know what made me suddenly leave my room and tell her that they had arranged a conspiracy on me and then the reaction of the relative who was staying with us at the time countered how what I said appears crazy accusation to me (POST 1000), it was I who chose on an occasion to behave loosely in front of her without knowing why, allowing her to detect that thing. Then I watched her internal conflict about my existence come to the outside like I could have never imagined. First she offered to go back to where I came from and bring me a wife. She had never before offered me that thing with recognition to my existence like she does it to the others. Beside being made on the go and not showing the same level of really wanting to do that, all other makings of such offer had to include that she bring her to me sixteen years old without missing saying that as if it is required by law. On the other hand according to her own admission, she was directed for the youngest girl in the family from which person3 married but she picked the oldest who is only three years younger than him. But for me it was following on that same age thing they had been doing to me to disregard my existence. Then she immediately stopped and it was unbelievable how she looked like switching to an evil character wanting to take advantage of the situation, and such offer have never been repeated again.

Just in case some think that there could have been some special infatuation toward the related person, there was non of that. All what she had indicated that much being against the self as the first aim and she still not only did not feel responsibility for me but took and celebrated the thing for herself.

By the way, one of them had never been seen praying since the late eighties, and for a muslim to do the daily prayer without being noticed by others living with him is probably unheard of even for a duration of just days (and I am being generous here). I am not citing that for itself but because it is supposedly big thing to her. Yet, I heard her sometimes asked about it (probably closer to twenty than ten years since then) and she responded saying like he says he prays, what business we have in that? Actually, I even never heard him or about him that he answers that affirmatively, but instead responds with a challenge saying Do you swear that I do not pray? I myself asked her about that twice and in both times she responded telling me about how she once opened the room door on him and found him in one of the positions related to doing a prayer. Notice how contrary to her effort to watch and detect that thing on me, here she did not even continue the checking to see if he was praying or not, and even though the position she mentioned is not that much associated with only doing a prayer.        

1048: Dates of Posts

 I spoke about this years ago and still every now and then I want to do that again and again. I cannot understand the genius behind offering people places to post, which is something they can do for themselves, but still withhold something as easy but with big benefit as authenticating the date of the posting, which is something they cannot do for themselves. That could have been given as a choice to the user and indicated at  publishing at the level of the whole blog or individual posts. Actually if you think about it, here for example, the other way around sounds meaningless. A user can change all the text  even the title and the date associated with the post remains the same. So, to what that date is supposed to refer? Even user files on a computer have the date of last modification associated with them, so how about posting, which is in the first place about presenting things to others?

1047: Again with those grammar sites.

 Did a google search for "people collective or plural noun" months ago and then did it yesterday and the same quote from THIS same site came stating "People is NOT a collective noun like team or staff. It is a plural noun". So I posted a comment saying that "People" is a collective noun, and every noun that can carry a plural meaning even though that noun is not driven from the singular form is a collective noun. I received a message showing me how my comment would appear if approved and then... you guessed it: My comment was not published. 

I also do not know how to take this author's "like team or staff". Does he mean that "People" is a collective noun but different from those in that aspect? If so then he missed to teach us about his theory of classes for collective nouns. Also, if "People" is not a collective noun then that means it cannot be taken as singular, and if so then how about the word "Peoples"? Or maybe the author also has a theory for classes for the plural? 

This was just about whether "People" is a collective noun or not; I do not care about the examples he gave.      

1046

THIS is how the corruption guy made my Word Pad look like since I posted (then deleted) those image links about 10 days ago. What you see there is supposed to be the text of the post below with the same font (Georgia). I just increased the size for here but the same look appears regardless of font size or type. 

1045: MS&R - 42

 I think that I made a mistake by referring within that context to that she came twice (Actually she came three times and the last one occurred more than a year later).  Person2 probably said that thing about me after just the first visit then did the others to balance things for her image. I think that when she knew that I left she wondered if that means that there is enough severance of connection for her to say that thing about me. So the solution she thought of was to leave expressing that choice to me through accepting or refusing her if she comes. Again the level and clarity of how much I had been already done there and her coolness and confidence toward that do not seem to allow but that she came to me that soon chasing me into finishing the situation, not trying to have herself remedy it.

1044: MS&R - 41

 Had one with knowledge about my story heard from another source what they said about me, I guess the thing that would have probably occurred to the mind of that listener as the worst reaction from them in response to that is to deny the thing or disregard any weight for it in order to escape responsibility. But for them and especially the parent to bring that thing themselves like this sounds unavoidably suggestive of being impowered directly and/or indirectly by psychosis at their mental roots giving them such magical power to disregard reality. By "indirectly" I meant through the capability to show characters living so unimaginably in their own created reality that facts against them would not stand a chance in the eyes of others.  

1043: Google's Ridicules Translation to Arabic

Related to the google's part in the preceding post, it is not just the english letters writing of that word, but I also just listened to the sound provided with it and it is the one related to "man" not "leg" in arabic. But even for the word "man", the sound provided pronounces the arabic equivilant when used without the definite article and when in a grammatical position that requires pronouncing the end of that word according to a version of the little "o" vowel. The word should have been pronounced neutrally at its end, and that is also the best solution to pronounce it in a sentence if one does not want to get involved in what kind of little vowels should be applied to a word in a sentence according to its grammatical position. Doing it upside down, google ignored the little vowels that are original parts of the word, and that led it to be totally wrong in its translation, and then considered one related to the usage of the other word in a sentence. This is the information provided by the biggest search engine to people, seriously?   

1042: Languages With Gender For Things

  You may think that languages where there is no such requirement are better for promoting open rather than group restricted view to existence, but consider this: Every time I hear on TV a girl referring, for fun, to her breasts as "the girls" or a guy to his twins as "the boys" I feel it strange because in my native language the former is masculine while the latter is feminine. Also, the mouth and nose, for example, are masculine, while the eye and ear are feminine. Mustache is masculine while beard is feminine. Hair, skin and womb are all masculine. Arm, hand, feet and leg are all feminine. 

By the way just saw google's writing in english letters the translation of "leg" to arabic as "rajul" which means "man". The one for "leg" is more like "rijl". Both are written the same way in arabic letters if you do not include the little vowels that accompany the letters, which is usually the case for simplicity and easiness.      

1041: MS&R - 40

 Also, the puzzling I already expressed about her coming to me (twice) within less than a month after I left and how that was like something from a different universe can only be sufficiently answered in connection with the action of saying that thing about me. I remember thinking about how much who see her near my door like that could be inclined to think of my leaving as some kind of a development or intensifying of the situation and would be light-years away from taking into account how much I was a done deal there and that is not even an issue. And as if how her coming was not enough unfit with regard to my relationship with them, it is also, as I mentioned in POST 1004 , unfit with the position she very confidently expresses for herself about her reaction to leaving in general.  

But despite that I already saw it as related to her wanting to say that thing about me, I had not felt ready to maintain such position until I knew how to fit that action with the big picture. The fit is that she came to see if she became free to say that thing about me. This connects to how I used to hear her use a strong common expression for finishing things in one direction. That in turn fit with all what I mentioned about her expressing being conflicted about my existence. Connecting the second link here on its own to the third never occurred to me before noticing this intermediate position.  

1040: MS&R - 39

Imagine a mother choosing to keep her eyes for years on something like what they said about me and does not care about correcting anything in her behaviour toward that son even though she herself arranged for such conspiracy with effects of being ignored discounted and disregarded without knowing why like the one in which I was submerged from initial existence. Even if we make the beyond ridicules assumption that what they did to me offered me valid existence, how about feeling the guilt related to replacing the better with the less especially with regard to such a related issue as what they said about me? But that is still not mine. Person2 did not just ignore it and pass on. No, she kept holding on to it from the earlier years then spread it out within a month after I left them. And then, showing how deeply rooted in them their position against me, the same end to that years spanning behaviour was repeated ten years later.

A would be Everest left from point zero in its existence to the hands of such people doing what they want to him under the controlled access of that conspiracy and the darkness of that hiding may deserve a complement for finding himself enough to be just a speed bump.        

1039: Beyond Donuts

 Related to food and in addition to the difference in fruit variety I mentioned before, it also seems like when it comes to sweets there is a significant difference between pastry varieties where I came from in comparison with here. Actually based on what I have found so far after living here for thirty years, one probably could say there is no comparison. I wish to take someone from here (preferably a police man) with me to a professional pastry shop there and see if he can say that  donuts here are not very much overrated. Although it is probably the other way around when it comes to cake, and pies were not known to me before coming here. Speaking about cake here, there is also the difference of no such level of sweetness there, and in general quality made sweets are less sweet.  

By the way, a little after arriving here someone invited those I came with including me to a dinner at what appeared to be a good quality Greek restaurant where for the sweet I was happy to find that they also offer baklawa/baklava. However when it came I was surprised by (in addition to violating the United Nations by making it with honey) how its quality is like that sold by cart venders in the streets where I came from not the professional shops, and the price in the latter can be more than four times that of the former.          

1038: MS&R - 38

 Related to post 1029 and as mentioned at the end of post 991 before, she used to sometimes look at me and say with half smile things like for example "what a mistake", which is not a hard connection to that decision to take me for treatment rather than letting me die. In other times she told me "If only I had put some poison in your food". Many times she responded saying "Then why did we let you live?" even to my simplest on the go life related mentioning of lacking for something, which I did not intend as argument for anything. One time I mentioned something about difficulty I faced in trying to get a job I sought and she surprised me with her jumping directly to say, and with impressive coldness, "It is better for one to die rather than living like this" and even though my referring to that situation was not even close to any level of desperation that can bring such thought. So, barely taking my mere physical existence like this can tell us about the intensity with which they worked on it not to extend beyond that. This would have been even passively the case, let alone under the hiding and conspiracy which they themselves arranged on me.           

In addition, their behavior toward me reflected a sense of being unaccountable because they have already done too much by merely allowing me to live and that in doing so they tolerated the intolerable. Also that struggle and the compromised solution of making it as much as possible existence of no inner depth and the effort put to apply the conspiracy associated with this solution are together by far the best fit for the several times in which I have heard person2 declaring that no other mother have worked and exhausted herself like her. 

Then you can see through saying that thing about me within less than a month after leaving them and then again  ten years later how erasing my existence kept its presence in their minds and the intensity with freedom from morality they allow themselves in perusing that.

1037

 I am in my fifties, probably have one of the cleanest driving records in the country, and my car is generally always in the garage except when I go to buy groceries, yet that lizard still charges me  about $50 a month for just liability insurance. And that is despite also having my home insurance (which also never used) with the same. Although, to be fair, I would not be shocked to know that it is relatively one of the most affordable in that field of making incomparable profit for absolutely no special capability or service except already having big amount of money. And as if that is not good enough, their fake lawyers commercials are on the TV twenty-four hours a day? Imagine if the government were to offer this same money-only impowered service and all that doubling of profits go back to the well-being of the people.          

1036: MS&R - 37

 Yesterday I looked at some new articles of the absolutely worthless usual media coverage of that case and noticed the new difference of how they now say things like "bludgeoned and strangled" about how that six years child was murdered, after  all that time of referring to just the strangulation. Now with having the other fact brought to the public, they probably had  no much choice but to pretend honesty. I do not  remember from before I started referring to that in the past two years, reading about any head trauma inflicted on that child but in technical material. I saw it first in wikipedia and wondered what is the "fracture" in the skull to which it refers. I even at first used expressions like a child whose skull was "fractured" but then I took into account how it sounds like a minor thing because of the way it was mentioned, and I thought that I could be misleading others by exaggerating the intensity of the trauma in expressing it that way. That is why when in post 1031 I was expressing my former theory about how the murder occurred, I said the brother of this victim  "caused" a crack or fracture in the skull of his sister rather than saying he cracked or fractured her skull, to avoid such exaggeration. But then of course everything changed when I saw THAT drawing for the trauma (and I do not know how long it would have taken a layman like me to see the same thing through the medical terms if it were not for whoever took the time to express it through such drawing).      

1035: MS&R - 36

 When I was brought home from hospital after being born person6 (the sibling just before me and about five years older) came and hit me on top of the head twice with a toy hammer he had and person2 supposedly was "startled because of my not yet fully developed skull". In addition, although they did not directly have the fun of telling me about it (but of course while still keeping the hidden reason behind such jealousy just to themselves), there is also strong suggestions that the same sibling tried later while I was still a baby to secretly kill me, and I think that it was through smothering with a pillow or the like so that the death looks natural. Now these are horrible things in comparison with what usually happen with other people, and I may later draw conclusions from them. But in comparison with having a child bets on his parents that he can crush the skull of his younger sibling with a baseball batt, and he then succeeds in that bet, as one can see in the story of the six years old child in the preceding posts, what I mentioned and all what it suggest is certainly smaller than tiny. 

( I altered this post on March 11, 2023)

1034: MS&R - 35: JonBennet's Head Trauma Severity -2

 The thought of one child having in his mind the existence of his six years old sibling as inferior to his own that he can this easily choose to hit her on the head breaking her skull like this with his baseball batt to end in the same way he may do with a bug the life of that sibling may easily make the real human go to war because of such killing, let alone do real prosecution and go after the corruption that has been occurring here. This is horrible beyond all measures. 

I actually had the intention of following the earlier post in which I talked about this murder with just one more post before I get back to my own story (Although ultimately serving this one through the connection is always part of my aim). So I wrote about a secondary issue related to this then at the end I wanted to add a note about the scenario I had been suggesting for how the killing here happened. It had occurred several times to me before that I could be forcing that theory. That is because in general neither the amount of force generated by a nine years old child just playing with his baseball batt, nor its direction seem to fit enough that theory. But still I kept going back and forth on this until I did a search specifically on the head trauma that was done to that child then couldn't believe my eyes when I saw the damage and viciousness that skull drawing depict. 

(This post was altered on 2/18/2023)  

1033: MS&R - 34: JonBennet's Head Trauma Severity

 This is the first time I have seen the head injury inflicted on that poor child expressed through a drawing, which is what is shown at the top right of THIS page. This does not even fit with just that her brother was playing around with disregard to her existence, induced into him by his parents, and hit her with a baseball batt or the like. This is more like that he positioned himself in front of her and with very clear intention hit her on the top of her head with that object as hard as he could. He probably already sensed that his parents would be very okay with losing his sister but they needed someone to take the first step and as much as possible put them in the situation of having no other choice. Also, the time of the killing being the day after Christmas, a present like a baseball batt could have been seen as the green light to act on such plan.

1032: Some thinking rather than just repeating is punishable by law in the grammar world?

  And Many of those sites do not even bother to include a comment section (And even if they do, my comments have a fifty-fifty chance of being published or not, according to my most recent experience). Here is what the site Grammarly says, and many if not most others seem to agree, about the issue of putting a comma before "or" separating two sections in a sentence: "Always place a comma before or when it begins an independent clause, but if it begins a dependent clause, don't". While the "Do you prefer coffee or tea" example given there is  a nice fit to that rule, how about a sentence like: Immediately following a hurricane, or an earthquake, the government should be providing the needed emergency help? The first comma here is also wrong according to that rule above even though the speaker does not want to indicate that taking care of only one of those possibilities is good enough. Neither does dealing with the comma issue of "and" on that website allow the ",or" above to be ", and", and it also seems that many other sites also agree with that prohibition or at least far from being clear enough for the sentence above. 

1031: MS&R - 33

Speaking about existence that is thin and questionable and remains considered like that despite how things outside appears to suggest otherwise, how about having that poor six years old colorado girl suffer a crack or fracture in  her skull caused by her brother then her parents strangle her supposedly to relieve her from the pain, as if this is the first thing that would come to the mind of real parents in such situation rather than rushing their child to a hospital? Believe me despite the appearance of caring and being proud through taking her to all those beauty competition, even before killing her that girl probably never for one second experienced real caring and connection like that of parents who had not turn psychotic because of the looks of their child behave toward the latter. Don't ask me how, but I look at her father and see those I lived with (By the way did anyone buy that her mother really died of cancer)? Although I am of course not comparing my story with what happened to that poor girl. Also, in addition to having her life taken and in that way, there is an official conspiracy here and of an earth shattering intensity level and on the blood of a six years old child. Moreover, there is here that same conspiracy with regard to the media and its pretending that there is really a no joke theory that her killer is someone other than those with whom she lived? Like I said before the ridiculousness of that theory makes you wonder why even bother having a justice system if other possibilities is given the same consideration in everything else. Then as I recently noticed probably because of how the alternative view already has no value, there is an additional thing that also stands very strongly against that view but I have not applied it toward that direction despite that I keep referring to it. That thing is the fracture or crack found in the skull of that girl. How did that occur? Was she already walking around with that condition, or was it that the intruder did that to her risking her screaming and awakening everybody else in the house because otherwise he would not have been able to overpower a six years old child? 

1030: The Radio Stations

I have wanted for years to point out this about the radio stations playing songs here: Those are not radio stations; those are mixed tapes on auto reverse. 

1029: MS&R - 32

 As mentioned before, the story of how close I came to dying as infant because of treatable sickness until that sudden life or death now or never emergency trip to a hospital of those far away and receiving treatment at the magnitude of getting twenty seven needle injection had already demonstrated how thin and questionable my existence was to them. It also fits very well the conspiracy and every thing else that followed in that they substituted physical death with the next best thing, depthless existence. And while the same would have suggested itself had I heard that infancy sickness story from another source, the fact that they themselves told me that and kept repeating it the way they did adds showing them remaining under that same mind set. Related to the latter I also noticed recently how I missed a big thing when I argued in POST 999 and the post to which it relates the conclusion that follows from that story. First of all from the outlook of things one may wonder what made that story deserve retelling and alluding to that much to me, given that repeating carrying an infant and running barefoot to a hospital ten times still sounds much easier than going once through a thing like giving birth, at least at time and/or place not having that easing pain drug like here and now. And I can add support here from being there in that there is no comparison in the telling and reminding between the two with regard to difficulty or suffering in my birth or those before mine. Then there is also support for this from within the telling or reminding of that story. That is because even though they themselves were telling it, the amount of effort done to save my life not only sometimes but most of the time occupied the secondary place in the focus while having an easy choice to let me die was the main focus. Mothers may remind their sons and daughters about the sacrifices those mothers did for them but not about having the power or an easy path to let them die. When done by other mothers, if at all, the closest reminding of that kind is usually incomparably less and, even more importantly, limited to being about before not after the birth of the child.

1028: Game Shows

  How could it be that I have never seen anybody making a game show based on the simple mental and observation power related idea below but there are so many of the question and answer type? You show the contestant(s) a short seen or a picture for seconds then remove it and ask them about some minor or background detail in it

1027: MS&R - 31

 Knowing that they themselves had sought to have the hiding and conspiracy that put them in that position of power over me, and combining that with their saying that thing about me makes one wonder about how could whatever survived of me that is real did survive, like wondering about any remaining of still edible chunk of meat left in the midst of a jungle with the most vicious and hungry devouring beasts.   

1026

 304: Stocks-CYTH

 I noticed yesterday that in the earlier post of the same title I referred to only the lowest of two prices in that fund raising. That is not because I saw the difference between them corrects what I was talking about. I just referred to what remained in my memory. 

1025

303: Regions Bank

  I do not use check cards but since this guy sometimes stops my credit cards, I went to this bank today to request a new check card (although he probably would also be able to stop a check card for the same reason as well). While I did that from my car and gave the teller my id card I also saw her keep laughing and try to do some other no customer related work while I and later also one next customer in his car were waiting. That seems to be done to steel some time for preparing some fun work on me for this corruption guy. Because then I started getting questions like if I have a dual citizenship and if I rent or own my home. I started questioning what is going on so this teller brought another teller who also tried to keep a straight face and wanted to continue that kind of  questions but I asked her for my id card back and drove away. This is the same bank with which I had the story I posted years ago about having no service when I call it but instead a recorded "good bye" and disconnection interrupt before I can do anything and how this fun on me for the corruption guy situation continued for a week until I went to the branch to show them that but when I called from there I got the normal business response which then continued to be the situation even when I call from home. This is also the same bank for which I had to several times endure inability to have the access I need for my account because my id and/or password gets refused despite being the correct ones. Although both of those happened while I had my internet service and landline phone provided by Charter. I also had cell phone service from Virgin Mobile but I used it only that one time when I was in the branch and got the normal thing and then when I came back home I started getting the latter also through my landline.

1024: MS&R - 30

 They unbelievably hammered that I do not really count, miles and miles deep into my core while I was in that natural position of trust toward them and in the darkness in which they kept me about the reason.

1023

 302: Stocks- CYTH

 As if the earlier appearance of conflict of interest surrounding that corruption guy's puppet ceo is not enough, does the sequence of events make things here even remotely look like that the 1 to 100 reverse split done in December of 2020 really sought higher prices for the stock? The stock never saw a price of $0.0136 a share before this split, and this $4.2 million offering at market price equivalent to that could have been very easily made at a price that is several multiple of this before this reverse split.  

1022: Another Affirmation

I affirm again still being on the position I chose for myself HERE. And let me spoil this so that no time gets wasted thinking about it: I am not waiting for the decision to be made for me from the outside so that I keep looking as wanting to continue with the task.