1029: MS&R - 32

 As mentioned before, the story of how close I came to dying as infant because of treatable sickness until that sudden life or death now or never emergency trip to a hospital of those far away and receiving treatment at the magnitude of getting twenty seven needle injection had already demonstrated how thin and questionable my existence was to them. It also fits very well the conspiracy and every thing else that followed in that they substituted physical death with the next best thing, depthless existence. And while the same would have suggested itself had I heard that infancy sickness story from another source, the fact that they themselves told me that and kept repeating it the way they did adds showing them remaining under that same mind set. Related to the latter I also noticed recently how I missed a big thing when I argued in POST 999 and the post to which it relates the conclusion that follows from that story. First of all from the outlook of things one may wonder what made that story deserve retelling and alluding to that much to me, given that repeating carrying an infant and running barefoot to a hospital ten times still sounds much easier than going once through a thing like giving birth, at least at time and/or place not having that easing pain drug like here and now. And I can add support here from being there in that there is no comparison in the telling and reminding between the two with regard to difficulty or suffering in my birth or those before mine. Then there is also support for this from within the telling or reminding of that story. That is because even though they themselves were telling it, the amount of effort done to save my life not only sometimes but most of the time occupied the secondary place in the focus while having an easy choice to let me die was the main focus. Mothers may remind their sons and daughters about the sacrifices those mothers did for them but not about having the power or an easy path to let them die. When done by other mothers, if at all, the closest reminding of that kind is usually incomparably less and, even more importantly, limited to being about before not after the birth of the child.