959: Haunted Houses

 Although I have been living in this country for over 29 years and still not even close to figure out why my neighbors can hear everything I do but I cannot hear anything they do (including machine sounds like for example vacuuming), I never expected the mystery to turn to magic tricks like this. I got a neighbor here detecting through sound transfer between houses the exact moment when I begin to sleep or get deeper into my thoughts even though I myself cannot feel any sound accompanying any physiological changes associated with those two mental processes. And it is not even like they struggle to detect those sounds. It feels like I can turn on whatever I want of electric devices and raise the volume of a stereo and a TV both near me and at the side that is closer to their house and they can still easily detect that regardless of where my body is or its status including walking (Of course the latter applies only to thinking. I do not sleepwalk).        

958:

Even if we assume that I and the conspirators around me lived equally, from the outside, in that environment (and that is light years away from the facts), and aside from the issue of what better and/or less bad potential alternative was taken away from me by altering my reality that way, did that conspiracy at least offer me the world at the same level it offers it to the conspirators? The answer is a huge NO. That is because they can connect to the world with the depth brought by the empowerment of knowing about that conspiracy while I connect to it through the shallow way of lacking that knowledge, and get built internally with that shallowness. That difference is magnified even much more with me being the target of that conspiracy.               

957

 Although the level may vary, generally, anyone, male or female, with a face that generally impress lookers as being 10 out of 10 in beauty (It could be less, because the main point here is  express a shocking effect) could have lived through psychotic reaction to their existence that was fighting that existence. Therefore the self recovery may depend on seeing that reaction. In doing so, there is a potential hurdle that is unbelievable in its difficulty and how much it lingers and needs to be considered again and again. I am referring to the potential capability of such people to show characters that are far from fitting the reality of their real position, and how much weight we give to the actions of a person should reflect back morally on him. If you think that is not a big deal then that itself could be supporting this view because of not looking enough at the micro level which such people master. Anyone remember my term "deceptive psychotics"? That was a term I made mainly based on those with whom I lived then noticed a similar phenomenon in serial killers and the term sociopath. But I think that we need to be carful not to confuse symptoms with causations. I think that like those here, sociopaths could be just fighting reality but in different direction. Anyway, I think that at least with those here, since the issue is about fighting reality, to begin with, such capability to internally deny reality should not be surprising. The only way I can see out of this is to keep focusing on the outer facts and carefully consider their weight again and again, which is a process that I myself is probably still very far from having it take me to where internally I feel what happened to me in the environment in which I lived as I should without the psychotic deception and disguise of those who where around me.

To give an example about the difficulty here, my father had four sisters and two brothers, and one of the brothers never entered the place where I was living (Except one time later because of fleeing Baghdad at the beginning of the gulf war of the 1990). It only very late occurred to me that his reaction could be because of the dirtiness of the conspiracy on me where I lived and the requirement on visitors to adhere to it.  With all the pressure and disregard I faced that focused on me being the youngest without me knowing the real reason behind it, the sky was closer to me from expecting that the eldest person in my father's family cared that much about me. Although the kind of character deception was a huge factor in making me affected by that, it is not the example I sought here. What I want to mention here is how the oldest brother to me at least one time said criticizing how that uncle told him when he visited that one ought not to do much visiting to his relatives (imagine the kind of moral dirtiness that made that uncle of mine says something like that for apparently such short visits especially in an environment where at least fake offering to host a guest is a must like there) and I listen to that with the probability of seeing a potential for something bad even close to make that brother deserve even close to be treated that way feels rejected like trying to fit a one foot inside a one inch square box. 

As for why did he risk saying that in front of me, I think it is part of enjoying the strength of his deception and/or psychotic way to prove how that uncle was wrong for reacting that way. Actually that was not the only time I felt my outside appearance was used as an argument for that what was being done to me was not that bad. But aside from how one can be affected by a thing without recognizing what affects him or even just being affected, someone could have amputated a leg of mine from birth then made me required to walk miles every day and I may still try to laugh and live my life like no problem if he was able to make me not detect that amputation as something special to me or otherwise I could be told why are you complaining of something everyone have to go through?

956

 As mentioned before, the way I think Jon Bennet was killed is that her brother hit her causing a fracture in her skull then she was finished off with strangulation by the parents. But thinking about how much there was a tendency by those in my own story to do things to me the passive way made me comeback to a scenario I thought about, earlier, suggesting that how the parents, or at least one of them, enabled the occurring of that killing goes even higher than the level discussed in post 953. Given that that six years old girl was killed that close to the Christmas day, does anyone know what kind of gifts the parents bought for their children? What if what caused the fracture in the skull of that girl was something, like for example a baseball bat, that was bought to the brother as his gift?

By the way, related to that joke ransom note, from the first time I looked at it I thought about it being written with the hand that is not the one usually used by that writer when writing, not the "disguised hand writing" being talked about out there. Also had that note ended with something like for example "Thank You" one would have questioned its authenticity because of how that end does not fit a letter demanding a ransom. But we have even significantly more than being a mere nonfit, with how that letter ended. Why would a ransom demand ends with "Victory"? It is not an instructions or directives letter from the main office of an organization to its branches. But having it fitting such a unity betrays the attempt to hide that the sender and the receiver are same entity. 

955

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293:

  I do not see anything obligating me not to sue this corruption guy for other things he did even if I win my current issue with him at the court. One special thing for which I do not intend to give him a free pass is the issue of the tracking device in my car if there is one, and I think there is. I think he did that as a substitute to tracking me through my cell phone after I discovered that and began carrying the phone and its battery separately (this option is not available with my current cell phone). And if the audacity of doing that when I was publicly bringing the attention and posting about being tracked by him is not enough, the level of his disregard to the system and the consequences seems to have been making him enjoy messing things for me at my target destinations and in a way that has nothing for him but affecting me personally (even with taking into account the ridiculous way he has been claiming to serve his purpose). Otherwise it is very probable that he could have kept tracking me (and even use detecting the radio stations to which I tune while on a long distance travel, to convey to me the fake reality and news he has been conveying) without being detected even anywhere close to how I see things now.

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954

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+294

 Related to the preceding post, I want to make things clearer by saying that at least while I still have not presented a new argument, I consider myself the one choosing, for myself, to allow the passing of time here and I also consider myself as responsible for the effect of the additional time I am taking here, on myself, the same way someone requesting an extension of time for his official case would be responsible for the consequences resulting from granting his request including the possibility of unnecessary delaying of his own wining of that case. 

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Note: I am designating the two double brackets  symbols at the top and bottom here as additional indication that the content originated at another blog of mine.