999: MS&R - 18

  I do not know how could have the story I mentioned in post 991 been taken not only as not sufficiently supporting what I cited it for, but also as supporting the opposite view. First of all, anyone took such level of effort to save my life as conflicting with my position had probably confused my main stand or what I have cited, as rooted in being passively neglected or that parents favored more taking care of themselves. 

Then, lets take a second look at that story. To begin with, it is not like I had to have that emergency trip to a hospital because of a car accident. So do you think that situations like this deserve more complementing the parents on their efforts or instead asking why was the sickness of the baby let to be intensified like this? Yes, generally the first option may be more common but that comes from assuming the good about the parents which is already part of what is being contested here. 

So the signs I mentioned with regard to the repetition of that story go on top of what is already a questionable action. And, given that what I narrated there is the whole story of that sudden seeking for emergency treatment, the argument I mentioned is similarly supported at the other end of that trip.  Like how, despite all that repetition, I have never been told anything about how the sickness reached that emergency situation, I also never heard anything about figuring out what was wrong with me at the hospital, despite how much that would have been an essential part of the story if the medical emergency was the result of an unforeseen thing . Instead, it was like I just needed medical attention and got it there. Also, what kind of sudden medical emergency not caused by the culmination of an already noticeable sickness requires 27 needle injection to be treated? So if the need for medical attention was already noticeable why did it have to reach such an emergency status and then why skip over this part every time the story gets told or referred to? Actually, they themselves enter into the issue of the kind of sickness I had but stop short of getting into its development period. They say I had asthma, jaundice and they also say I had anemia. None of these seems enough to explain taking chances of facing an emergency situation like that.

Nevertheless, wondering about that, I once asked person2 about why not the medical facilities where they lived and she said We stopped and no longer go; they are not good. If that answer was targeting the choice of where to go at just the time of that medical emergency, then it is very clearly a deceptive one. When I asked that I was over thirty five, but I also could have been a child and still it would have been an unexplainable thing to prioritize that as what I wanted to know from my question. It is very familiar and common for people there to favor going to Baghdad over where they live in a medical emergency situation. It is so much so that only months ago it occurred to me that my question could have been taken that way.   

And if the answer was not limited to that emergency point in time, then the part about not going there anymore  suggests that treatment was not sought and/or that answer being intentionally ambiguous to avoid the issue. Also I do not know when was that policy supposedly set in. I do not remember being taken when I was a child and needed treatment but to the medical facilities in where we were living which is the same place where I was born. So what happened? Had they gotten new medical degrees since then? Actually, I used to be taken to the nearest of those governmental free medical facilities where the guy describing the treatment is, according to what I used to hear, just a nurse or medical assistant.

I also wondered about why the part about being barefoot there was not repeated as the other parts of the story and when it does get mentioned it felt like being approached more carefully than the rest. But now I can fit that here through seeing it as part of trying to avoid suggesting any lack of preparation, in order to stay away from the issue of how my sickness was dealt with before that emergency mandates itself.        

I also want to point out that whether I had to be in such a life or death emergency in order to have my sickness cared about sufficiently was because of a conflict involving deciding if I should be let to die, or whether it was because of  an already decided level of dealing with me, both strongly support how later my existence was deeply fought for whatever beyond the physical level, although the former is the more fitting possibility.    

998: MS&R - 17

  Even without the support of my citations or even any external witness, how much saying that thing they said about me does by itself reveal if weighed in and taken properly? Because even without those, being confused about my story despite knowing this is like owning blocks of gold but living homeless. First, how many other things can suggest such an inclination to erase someone from existence? And its being a reaction to THIS POST can tell us even more. I referred to their being against my existence and they responded to that by going at my existence rather than what I am saying, case in point. Their reaction could have been seen as supportive to the accusation had they shared only the issue of targeting my existence. But here we also have the uncalled for direct going to such intensity. This makes the thought that there is an already deeply rooted thing in them toward that direction unavoidable. And although it could not disguise the connection to that post, the time between the posting of that post and them taking that reaction was more than enough to show premeditation rather than a sudden burst of emotion. It also seems that later they sought to support their position with material targeting the issue of me being good or bad person. That could have had a bigger support for them had they started with it. But ironically having favored to go the earlier path first flips that to my side in the bigger picture by as much as that material have weight toward that sought later direction in responding to me. What I have just referred to as "my side" is specifically about the issue of targeting my existence. And if we put that at the root as the big picture shows it then the other bad things said about me would be greatly countered or cancelled. In fact, even whatever positive thing done by them would itself also add to my argument because it makes it even harder to see and realize the war on my existence. And what a war on existence could people showing such desperation, shamelessness and readiness for betrayal do to that same target as he was left in their hands from point zero. Add to that the freedom from morality that allows someone to cite such a thing for his side even though he should be the first to be in trouble because of the potential causation through that targeting to the existence of that target and what that implies. Moreover, the biggest probability here is that the knowledge of what they said about me  originated from an internal source after I left them (Actually I can make much better support for that if I were to not excluding the dependence on my own citing here) That seems to strongly suggest that they knew about the occurring of a thing that is by that much indicative of the internal destruction of the target but still favored to continue on their original path against the existence of that target. This is another thing showing the intensity and dedication on fighting and refusing my existence.    

It is amazing how much information and answers are condensed into that they said that thing about me and how much that information can focus the bad on them and in turn undo even the insult it itself has toward me at its face value. That of course assuming saying that thing they said about me count on them the same way it could have counted on anybody else saying such a thing. But as much as they can show characters that make one struggle in taking them like that then this struggle itself adds to myside because of what it suggests about the power of deception that targeted me through the way they did.